Earphones on, eyes droopy I’m barely holding on to the cold metal rails yet even on this dreaded Monday commute, I’ve somehow found a semblance of peace. The next song comes on, just as the train stops to let the next set of depressed commuters on. In my half conscious state I find myself nodding and in complete agreement with Switch foot’s sentiments…”Life is short I want to live it well”.
Then it happens, that heart wrenching moment my heart sinks and I pray to God that somehow just for today I could be endowed with superhero powers. Particularly the ones that can make me disappear. My heart rapidly beats as a thousand thoughts rummage through my head, all along the lines of “Why God!!!, why…, this is my alone time,”
You might be sitting there wondering what unfortunate event could ruin such a promising Monday and destroy the semblance of peace (which I’ll have you know is impossible to find on one’s way to work). I’ll just spit it out and hope for no judgment although I’m certain I should be ashamed for harbouring such thoughts. I hate meeting people on my way to work.(Ok that was a bit of a half truth, I hate meeting people anywhere, period!) I find it so excruciating as an Introvert who turns into an extrovert in awkward social situations. (I ramble on incessantly about what happened in 1854 to the utter disinterest of whoever was unfortunate enough to run into me.
The Point is when I run into someone I know on my way to work…or anywhere for that matter, I do one of many things. Firstly I invoke my superhero powers so I can disappear. When that doesn’t work, I fidget on my phone (pretending to be busy always helps). With my head down and earphones on I hope that the person will be sensible enough not to disturb someone is such deep thought. Sometimes I turn around and face the opposite way hoping my silhouette wont be recognised and lastly I pretend to sleep – whilst standing of course. (I mean seriously you may be good friends but who wakes up a tired sleeping commuter?)
In the midst of all this I usually remember what I’ve been pondering which is “Life is short I want to live it well”. Somehow hiding from people is not very reminiscent of the concept of “living it well”. So I turn around paste a smile on my face, greet with warmth and talk about the interesting facts I read, which 99.9% of the time are never interesting to anyone else.
The point is when I take the time to come out of my comfort zone I discover friendships and a world outside of myself. When I cease to make it about myself, I discover real people with real problems; hurts; issues and all the ugly stuff that we all carry inside. So my hope for this coming Monday is that somehow I would live well. That I would look outside of myself and show some love and kindness to someone else pasting on smile.
“Awaken oh my soul, every breath that you take is a miracle” ” in the sentiment of the song I want to live for more than a funeral.”
That’s enough introspection for one day, with that I bid you adieu.
I’m off to make some Rooibos tea 🙂